You have a Ph.D in rocket science and yet you put the diaper on backwards. And not just once.
The kid wills himself to sleep because he can't take your singing anymore.
Your best snapshots of the kid feature half his face
You feed the kid cookies and cream instead of apples and peaches because they're so "bleaaaaah".
Your idea of watching the kid is to be a kid yourself and wreak havoc in the house
You take the kid to the park on demand, even if it's six in the morning. And snowing.
You drive in a snowstorm for 10 hours straight...
to be home in time for your baby's first birthday.
Happy father's day.
(And don't sulk because it's a couple of days late.)
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